What is EFT and The Gottman Method?

“EFT appears to move couples from distress to recovery in 10-12 sessions for 70-75% of cases, and creates improvements in 90% of couples coming in for therapy.”

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a treatment approach focusing on mending the bond between partners. Developed by Susan Johnson and Les Greenberg and based on John Bowlby’s seminal attachment research, EFT respects the innate human need to feel attached to and comforted by significant others.

Adult love relationships are found to have the same survival function as the mother-child bond. Ideally these attachments provide love, comfort, support, resiliance and protection throughout the lifespan.

When we sense the bond with our loved one is threatened we typically react to it in much the same way as we do to a threat to our survival, with a fight/freeze/flight response.  This response often escalates the problem and frequently develops into cycles of negativity in which each parter triggers the other. For example as one partner pursues the other responds by withdrawing, which provokes the first partner to pursue more vigorously.   It is extremely difficult to get out of these negative cycles without outside help. Over time both partners focus on the negativity of the cycle and this blots out their underlying attraction to their beloved and desire for connection.  This shows up in various symptoms, such as a “lack of desire” or “always arguing” or “retreating from each other into work, substance abuse, or other activity.”

Due to our relationship histories and/or the negative interaction cycles we get into with our partners, many of us have difficulties with trust and expressing emotion to those who mean the most to us.

When couples argue about such issues as jealousy, sex, or money, these arguments often stem from one partner not feeling connected, not trusting, or not feeling safe or secure with the other partner.  These arguments are symptoms of damaged connection as much as the cause of it.  When our partners are not emotionally available, or are not responding to our needs to feel close or supported, we feel distressed. We may become anxious, fearful, numb, or distant.

These behaviors can become habitual or rigid modes of reacting to our partners. Furthermore, these toxic behavior patterns seem to take on a life of their own as they cycle into repetitive interactions that cause much pain, injury, and despair. We focus on these patterns in therapy and work on changing these negative interaction cycles in a non-judgmental environment.

In a relatively short time – 12 to 24 sessions – couples begin to recognize and eventually express their needs for love, support, protection, and comfort that are often hidden or disguised by the harsh or angry words used in repetitive self-defeating patterns of conflict. Partners begin to “listen with the heart,” one of the cornerstones of EFT – which means listening not for the literal meaning of a partner’s words, but for the feelings that lie beneath. In return, the other partner is better able to respond from the heart in kind. This is the emotional focus of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.

We view the building of a “safe haven” in your relationship as our primary task, and we will focus on your primary needs — to feel close, secure, and responded to — which probably underlie most of your conflict with your partner. Once this safe haven and feelings of connection are re-established, you will be better able to manage conflict and the painful or difficult feelings that will inevitably arise from time to time in a close relationship. Furthermore, without so much defensiveness, each of you will be able to send clearer messages and will be better able to hear the other’s perspective. You will be more able to collaborate, problem-solve, and compromise. In short, you’ll be more of a team, which is the secret of a long-lived, successful relationship!

EFT is evidence-based and has been used with many different types of couples in private practice, university training centers, and hospital clinics. These distressed couples often include partners suffering from disorders such as depression, post- traumatic stress disorder, and chronic medical illness. To view further references, recent articles describing EFT therapy, and books on EFT, please refer to the EFT website by clicking here, or you can look up EFT on Wikipedia here.   I also provide readings on EFT on my resource page for couples.

THE GOTTMAN METHOD

The Gottman Method is an alternative approach to couples counseling which is also research based.  Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this approach adds many interventions which I incorporate into my work with couples.  John Gottman is most famous for his pioneering research on the factors that contribute to couples success. Here are some of his findings.

Common-Statistics

103 thoughts on “What is EFT and The Gottman Method?”

  1. Pingback: erectile dysfunction

  2. Pingback: can you buy zithromax over the counter in australia

  3. Pingback: essay writer funny

  4. Pingback: neurontin 800 mg price

  5. Pingback: buy zithromax online cheap

  6. Pingback: bradley cooper propecia

  7. Pingback: write my admission essay

  8. Pingback: generic chloromycetin

  9. Pingback: buy cialis cheap fast delivery

  10. Pingback: cialis coupon code

  11. Pingback: consumer reports generic viagra

  12. Pingback: viagra causes prostate cancer

  13. Pingback: mother accidentally give son viagra

  14. Pingback: 200 mg viagra

  15. Pingback: all natural eqivelent to viagra

  16. Pingback: mom helps son with viagra

  17. Pingback: viagra red face

  18. Pingback: cialis vs viagra effectiveness

  19. Pingback: viagra patent expiration date extended

  20. Pingback: india pharmacy drugs

  21. Pingback: neurontin dogs

  22. Pingback: get cialis overnight

  23. Pingback: can i buy cialis over the counter canada

  24. Pingback: roman viagra review australia

  25. Pingback: levitra online fast shipping

  26. Pingback: glucophage metformin

  27. Pingback: cialis otc usa

  28. Pingback: best india pharmacy

  29. Pingback: generic cialis 10mg online

  30. Pingback: paxil online prescription

  31. Pingback: cialis legal france

  32. Pingback: dosage for plaquenil

  33. Pingback: fish antibiotics amoxicillin 500mg

  34. Pingback: amoxicillin ear infection

  35. Pingback: zithromax buy

  36. Pingback: celebrex what does it do

  37. Pingback: celebrex 1442

  38. Pingback: cephalexin dose

  39. Pingback: keflex and drugs related to it

  40. Pingback: cymbalta manufadturer

  41. Pingback: is cymbalta a ssri drug

  42. Pingback: cialis pills online

  43. Pingback: buying viagra online without prescription

  44. Pingback: canadian pharmacy viagra

  45. Pingback: clomiphene for sale

  46. Pingback: can you buy amoxicillin uk

  47. Pingback: cialis 100mg for sale

  48. Pingback: cialis 40mg generic

  49. Pingback: viagra foods australia

  50. Pingback: white generic viagra south africa

  51. Pingback: cialis online drugstore

  52. Pingback: buy cialis lowest price

  53. Pingback: free cialis samples australia

  54. Pingback: can i order cialis online in canada

  55. Pingback: cheapest sildenafil india

  56. Pingback: sophia viagra nude

  57. Pingback: best price for sildenafil 100 mg

  58. Pingback: cialis otc date

  59. Pingback: finasteride proscar

  60. Pingback: comprar viagra online amazon

  61. Pingback: buy sildenafil citrate

  62. Pingback: sildenafil coupon 50 mg

  63. Pingback: buy generic cialis 20mg

  64. Pingback: riley reid viagra

  65. Pingback: cialis canada paypal

  66. Pingback: finasteride 1 mg

  67. Pingback: generic tadalafil cheap

  68. Pingback: cheapest source for cialis

  69. Pingback: cialis for sale mexico

  70. Pingback: sildenafil 25 mg buy online

  71. Pingback: cialis super active tadalafil 20mg

  72. Pingback: sildenafil online india

  73. Pingback: generic cialis cheapest price

  74. Pingback: kate england viagra brother

  75. Pingback: cialis package insert

  76. Pingback: generic viagra 100mg price in india

  77. Pingback: best ed pill

  78. Pingback: save-80 -on-viagra-levitra-and-cialis-and-hundreds-of-other-meds

  79. Pingback: price of lasix

  80. Pingback: best male enhancement pills

  81. Pingback: legal online pharmacy

  82. Pingback: Zakhar Berkut

  83. Pingback: canada pharmacy no prescription

  84. Pingback: cialis soft tablet

  85. Pingback: cialis buy australia

  86. Pingback: rush delivery on cialis

  87. Pingback: generic cialis daily pricing

  88. Pingback: cash advance payday loan reading

  89. Pingback: projectio-freid

  90. Pingback: where to buy sildenafil

  91. Pingback: viagra dosage

  92. Pingback: viagra retinopathy of prematurity

  93. Pingback: is ivermectin the same as stromectol

  94. Pingback: instant payday loans escondido

  95. Pingback: can mormons take viagra

  96. Pingback: daniel tosh gay viagra challenge

  97. Pingback: tinder social uk

  98. Pingback: non-prescription cialis pills

  99. Pingback: kinoteatrzarya.ru

  100. Pingback: cheapest viagra without a prescription

  101. Pingback: video

  102. Pingback: online without prescription

  103. Pingback: how to buy viagra online

Comments are closed.

Scroll to Top