Couples Blog

People who value autonomy and independence may be less likely to feel gratitude in response to a gift or favor, which could interfere with their bonds with others, suggests research in Cognition and Emotion.

In a study with more than 500 participants, researchers found that people who self-reported a higher level of autonomy (not wanting to depend on others or be depended on) reported feeling less gratitude after receiving a hypothetical gift from a friend.

In a follow-up study, they found that people higher in autonomy focused more on presenting themselves well and less on supporting others in their relationships, and that the lower value they attached to gratitude was linked to their goals in relationships.

From The Monitor, official publication ion The  American Psychological Association, March 2017, pp 8-9

 

“We are not just homo sapiens. We are HOMO VINCULUM – an emotional bonding mammal. Recognizing this is crucial to our survival – as individuals – as couples – as families – as tribes – as nations.”

Sue Johnson, PhD, Founder of EFT,  plenary  talk from the Creating Connections Conference 2016,

There is a well known 2013 study by Gross and Prott on height perception.

If I am standing on the bottom of a hill, I will always overestimate its height;

if I am carrying a heavy backpack, my brain says that the hill is even higher.

Yet, if my friend is standing next to me the hill seems less steep.

In addition to the relationship myths below, Esther Perel gives us this nice list of misconceptions about sex:

– Sex is spontaneous and should be effortless.
– Men are always interested and ready for sex.
– Sexual function equals sexual satisfaction.
– Sex is better when you’re young.
– People are either straight or gay with no fluidity.

Investigators at the University of Texas at Austin found that a brief, moderate strength and cardiovascular exercise regimen preceding sexual activity was associated with improvement in sexual desire and significantly improved sexual functioning in women with more severe sexual dysfunction related to antidepressants.

Previous studies suggested that exercise has the potential to improve sexual function in depressed women who are not taking medication and that exercise prior to presentation of sexual stimuli could increase sexual arousal in healthy women.

EXERCISE IMPROVES SEXUAL FUNCTION IN WOMEN TAKING ANTIDEPRESSANTS: RESULTS FROM A RANDOMIZED CROSSOVER TRIAL, by Tierney Ahrold Lorenz Ph.D, and Cindy May Meston Ph.D. Article first published online: 1 NOV 2013